It's Been a Rough Week

Well, on the surface it's been great. We had a hurricane a few days ago - the biggest storm of my lifetime - and my house never even lost power. I'm doing some photography, my daughter started a new job where she gets to work with - and spend more time with - her brother, whom she loves. I finished a couple huge projects at work. Sounds good.

So what's been bad? I still haven't mastered the habit of not worrying about something before it can even happen (or not). I'm much better at it than I used to be, and having a little worry facilitates things like, oh, hurricane preparedness, for example. All the kids toys got put in the barn, and yes, they could have blown around, though probably not away or into anyone's windows. We brought a cord of wood inside before it started raining. We took the bike to Gram's to store in the garage so it wouldn't blow over or away. The tub was filled and I even remembered to ready actually-clean water for the animals.

I like this image. I chose it as my first contest entry.

But for some reason, it's been a low week for pictures. This is me not just worrying about something before it happens, but being sure it's going to happen and so not even taking a chance (see previous post). Though I'm pretty happy with my anxiety meds, I was driving a week or so ago and suddenly got the flash thought, "My pictures really suck." It was a throwback from the old days when my generalized anxiety disorder pretty much ruled, and though it's an improvement for me to realize that, it still isn't going away. Why would anyone want to buy my photos? And they haven't, so am I being a pessimist, or a realist? Or am I just being impatient?

 In order to keep up the flow and stay positive, I entered two mini-competitions on one of my favorite photography websites, Cambridge in Color. The first, I lost miserably but decided that it may not be that crowd's style and immediately entered another with one of my best (in my opinion) images and one that I thought was more suited for the site, and am currently losing in this one as well. While I am not crushed and while I can totally rationalize how (no, the images just weren't as good at the voters thought the others were) why it is happening (I have never asked for non-loved-ones critiques on my work and these were my first two competition posts) I still wish they had done better.

A couple weeks ago, I donated a mini-photo session and print to an antique car show. It took me longer to ready the shots for viewing once I took them than I wanted it to and one of my ADD snafus blew the timing a little, but I finally posted them. I know (or maybe I just think I know) that the recipients have seen the photos, but they haven't banged down my door to get the prints they won. In my infinite wisdom, I have decided that that means they don't like any of them. Really, though, we did just have a hurricane. Maybe they don't even have power.

This is the image I thought would do better in the second contest.

I have a local gift store owner who is waiting for me to deliver some framed photos so she can offer them for sale. I haven't done it yet. I'm getting cold feet. Luckily, we had a hurricane and I can sort of still use that as an excuse for my delay, but that is expiring fast. I find myself trying to create a perfect scenario so that she will sell everything I give her. Hey, Me, please go back and read previous posts regarding perfectionism vs. the serendipitous things that can happen when you just make a break for it without knowing what the hell you're doing.

Yes, this morning it's time to get in the car and head to Danielson after a quick stop at the furniture polish store and the frame store. If she has nothing to sell, she won't sell anything. Also on my list, email my session winners and ask when and what I can deliver. Freezing like a deer in the headlights is not going to help, though I did quickly sew a set of penguin-covered foot pajamas for one of my sons this week when I felt like I was a failure at photography. He should really like them. At least something good came of my bad week.

I'm glad I love learning, because I am learning a LOT.

I could make a list, but it would be very long and probably somewhat boring. Instead, I will summarize: it is much more fun to take action while you are putting plans together than to try to hone the plan to perfection before you ever take the first step. (Wordy? Yes. But the beauty of written language is that you can read it again if you don't follow. A cliche won't do here.)

This is new to me. The fact that it's new explains why I am 44 years old and just now giving selling my photos a try. As a reflective person (with anxiety issues to boot), I have always been much more willing to think about something ad nauseum until I finally just feel bad about myself for never having done it, and then I don't ever even make an attempt because I'm convinced I am not going to succeed. Instead, right now I have prints hanging in a cafe, a ready inventory worth over $1500, a sales rep(!) and high hopes.

One doesn't plan to find a 200+ degree rainbow at the
Lowe's parking lot, so it's good to stay open.

It seems odd to consider myself someone who does not normally jump in, given my impulsive nature. In some ways, I am happier not pinning things down so I can be free to interesting opportunities as they come along. Planning or not planning my weekends is one example. My husband is a planner and feels more comfortable when he knows what's coming. I suspect he may be more focused on having a plan than he is on what the plan may or may not include. When we first met, his drive to plan often trumped my reflective nature and before I knew it, he had planned whole weekends. He always ran things by me, and I agreed because they sounded good, but I was never able to formulate and express my own thoughts in a timely manner. As the months went by, I started to see the pattern and was able to, early enough, ask for some planned "unplanned" time and I felt better.

So, action during planning, for me, has been new and good. I have also learned that I should not label myself, as that is limiting. I am both reflective and impulsive, and that's ok. I may be successful as a part-time photographer and I may not, but I am certainly on a more direct path to finding out now that my work is getting out there. My plan (since I CAN still plan while also doing) is to keep doing and also to develop a parallel stream of planning time, when I will continue to examine my niche as a photographer and learn more about photography and business as I go.

I am so looking forward to it!

I Picked Up My New Business Cards Today

I'm a little nervous. I'm trying to quickly take a photo of my new business cards for this post, and it's not working. I think that "quickly" is the key term here. I’m trying to get a blog-worthy shot on a cloudy evening in my barely-lit dining room. And with my phone, even. My options now are either to take the whole shebang outside or give up on the shot. I haven’t decided which I will do yet, but if you scroll down right now, you will be able to tell immediately which I chose.

I have much to do tonight in order to get ready for my photography booth event on Saturday. If I don't get things printed tonight, I'm out of time until Friday night, when it will be too late to let the images dry for 24 hours before I put them in sleeves. The other problem is that I'm out of ink again. My very-fancy printer seems to be sucking the cartridges dry. How much magenta (photo magenta, to be specific) can really be in these images? Magenta is pink, right? I am printing pumpkins, barns and winter scenes. I suppose my software would show me just one ink color in an image if I could find the right setting. Someday I’ll try it.

A compromise: the image from my
business card, and also one that I
KNOW uses lots of magenta.

Meanwhile, I am having other... concerns. Not doubts, really, but two things in particular are on my mind. The first is, I am wondering when I will finally make a sale. A sale would be very nice and would take the pressure off regarding when the first sale will finally be and whether anyone really does like these “fantastic” images enough to actually buy one of them. One sale would help. The second thing I am wondering is what I will focus on after this Saturday. I was lucky enough to get two relatively easy-to-get-my-brain-around events on back to back weekends. Now that the first is over and the second is three days away (and I have put more than a few hundred dollars into inventory), I find myself trying to line up the next event before I even know what I’m going to print for this one. I’m pretty sure that that’s the right direction to be headed, but I also know that, with my personality (read ADD here), I love to start things but don’t always finish them-finishing is hard. If I don’t finish planning for Saturday’s event, there won’t be one and then I would only have myself to blame if I don’t sell anything that day.

For now, it’s time to finish up here and get to work. You already know that I have given up on the business card picture, so if you want to see them you will have to look me up and I will be happy to give you one in person. Then maybe we can continue our conversation about photography face to face.

My New Bio

This morning I wrote a new bio for Saturday's cafe grand opening. I know that bios are usually written in the third person, but I also know that the bio-ees are usually the ones who write them and to me that adds a layer of mystery that seems counter-intuitive to helping people get to know me. Maybe I will change my mind when the editor of National Geographic writes a third-person bio about me to go with my one-woman spread!

Anyway, the bio I wrote follows. I hope it's ok.

Can you tell my daughter
 (used to my camera)
 from my niece (not so much yet)?

 Do you have teenagers? I do. Actually, my oldest is turning 21 in a few weeks. When kids are little, they love being photographed. Get them little enough (as we often do) and they have no say in the matter. But have you experienced that turning point where they suddenly start to put their hands over their faces, turn away, or, if caught by the camera, give you the eye-roll? It can be frustrating, but I have learned that persistence helps. Simply keep shooting. Eventually, they have to come out of their rooms or their teachers will start to miss them.

"Is she shooting?" "Yes,
she has been all day. Who cares?"

That's what I did. I have taken well over a thousand (according to my directory) pictures of each of my six kids. What is interesting for people outside my immediate family, though, is the other photos I was shooting in between, during photo sessions that still managed to get on my kids’ nerves. Imagine happily riding down the road, minding your own business in the backseat, when the brakes come on for no apparent reason and you have to sit by the side of the road for 10 minutes, or, in winter, until Mom can’t feel her fingers anymore.

Willington, CT. No kids in the
backseat that day, but you get the picture.

Taking this many photos, I have been able to capture a few good ones that I love to share. Despite how much I love the challenge of capturing what I see and being able to show it to others, I love even more to have conversations about photography. That’s how we all learn. And when my 12 year old asks if he can take some pictures with my $600 camera, I say yes. He has earned it.

On the Eve of the Test

This weekend and next are my first two big photography business tests: a vendor site at a local fall community event and a grand opening of a cafe that will display and sell my photographs!

Looking back over my blog, it is unclear how I got here. I have made deliberate steps, but it still seems like luck. Suddenly, a friend was opening a new cafe, and as I encouraged her to take the leap, my confidence for her rubbed off on me. I offered my art as display and now I am poring over images and searching the web for information that will help me create a package that her customers will enjoy. As I geared up for the reality of a potential pay-gig, I got a Facebook invite to a first-ever event in the town where I work. When my mom invited me, she probably meant for me to go as a visitor, but then an announcement came for free vendor spaces. What did I have to lose? I emailed for more information and then, amazingly, continued to follow up and am going to attend, no matter what!

My Grandmother's Dream Promotional Materials

I have set goals for myself for both events. At Harvest and Hops in Danielson, my main goal is to start a conversation about photography. I have visited many a photography display, and though it does not come naturally to me as an introvert, I don't remember ever feeling compelled by the display or the artist to really have a discussion. I learn when I ask questions about and discuss photography, so that is my goal. I am also hoping to bring together a decent-looking display - you know, photography being visual and all. I have borrowed a canopy (that took all of a six minute wait after posting a request on FB) and a generator to run lights and a slide show on my laptop. I have pumpkins on lend and am waiting to hear about mums. I know my photos are good, but I don't know how much they might be worth to strangers, so I will try it and find out.

Hebron, CT

At the cafe, it will be my goal to listen closely to what patrons say about the cafe, which is in the original grocery store building, and what they say about the town. Last week, when I was there taking photos of the cafe and the surrounding scenery, a man stopped in. While the owners, Jessica and Ross Dapsis, were lumbering a refrigerator down the stairs from the second-floor apartment, I got to hear wonderful stories of his childhood, Hebron, and what he remembers about the room we were standing in. What a treat! I'm hoping that my photos will help draw customers to my friends' cafe, and for that to happen, I need to learn as much as I can about them.

I am now going to cross my fingers: in about two weeks, I should have some idea as to whether my friends - and my mom - are just being nice!

Free Learning Opportunities Abound

One thing that's been happening
is the heat. These geese know

where to go.

I love learning. I had a goal to do a Marketing class online, and I did it. Marketing was relatively easy for me because of my psychology background. However, today, without the help of any free resource whatsoever, I learned a very quick and practical lesson: I learned that PST is three hours later than I thought it was - well, if I'd have noticed that the online "Selling Your Work" webinar said PST and not EST, I would have known it was going to be at 2:00, my time, and not 11:00. So really, I learned to read more-carefully. But now I have a few extra minutes to write about what's been happening around here.

To put it simply, I've been very busy just soaking in information. There are so many free resources out there for learning about business and about photography. The Metrix classes have been great so far. I have been taking notes and being serious about every word, so I am learning a lot. I have completed three business-related classes and am now working on my first photography class.

Another good resource for learning about a photography business is Zenfolio. I'm waiting (sheepishly) for my 2:00 EST (11:00 PST) webinar on selling my work on Zen. I hope they also incorporate bringing in Facebook and other tools to strengthen exposure to my "business". I'm very tempted to shell out $120 to upgrade my Zen account so I can make a profit from selling prints there, but maybe I should wait until I actually sell a print - or better yet, make back the $40 I spent on the more-basic account that I already have there. Maybe I can sell a few things before the August renewal date comes up.

The last free-learning mention of the day goes to Cambridge in Color. This is an amazing website that has tutorials on just about every photography subject imaginable. The guys who put it together are professionals and are visible in the forums, setting up contests and just generally being helpful. This is my go-to site for learning about my camera and photography in general.

Speaking of Cambridge, I am off to see if the private message waiting for me is from them. I asked about them offering a calendar showing their various contests. I want to start entering them, not just on Cambridge, and my global learning style begs me to have a more-centralized listing so I can find what I need easily.

More on contests later. Meanwhile, check out my Zenfolio page here.

Metrix

At the end of my last post, I vowed to start learning more about photography and about business. I had signed up for a free workshop that would give me access to 7000 free courses, many of them on business topics. So, Thursday, I did my Metrix workshop. I signed up to get my license and I chose my first three classes. I choose Achieving Goals through Perseverance and Resilience, Competitive Factors in Strategic Marketing, and Improving Your Image. The way it works is, you take the workshop and then they have to set up your account for you - they email your login information to you. I was concerned that it would take a few days to get my account and I would lose my momentum, but when I checked my email Thursday night, my info was ready!

I quickly logged in and started my first class - the goals one - and I quickly learned my first Metrix lesson: I suck at it. I'm not sure why. But I ended up writing down the answers and using the cheat sheet to get a high enough percentage to finally pass the damn course. What Metrix estimated as a one hour course took me almost two. Looking back, I realize that my problem started when I launched a test very early in the course and became discourage after doing poorly - I didn't realize that it was a pre-test. Also, the questions weren't simple. I had to carefully read every question and then every answer, and often I never was able to figure out exactly why some of my answers were wrong and the ones they liked were right. I think I may have been reading too much or too little into the questions - sometimes the answers I liked could have been good ones, but I was working in peripheral information and "possibilities" that, because they weren't covered by the course, weren't accepted. For example, I thought it would boost the success rate of one's goal to tell co-workers about it. Personally, I think it would help me. But Metrix said not to go boasting to others about a goal when it's not anyone else's business but yours. So my course meta-think brings me this: pay attention to the course roadmap and take into consideration each and every word in all questions AND answers. What did I learn from the course content? In the four-step process to overcome obstacles, I have only ever done the first step, which is to recognize the situation. Actually, part of step one is not taking obstacles personally. Fail. When the thing doesn't work, I just shit-can the whole thing. So of course I haven't ever gotten to step two, which is to "maintain a positive attitude... control any negative reactions... avoid making self-defeating assumptions about your abilities... challenge pessimistic beliefs... focus on successes..." and the final thing I've never done (see previous post!)... "Remember that one failure doesn't mean your goal is no longer valid or possible." Um... no wonder.

For now, my new goal is to not take obstacles personally: that's part of step one. So right now, I'm going to start my second course. I think I'll do the Marketing class. It's only two and a half hours long instead of three like the other one, and the other one looks sort of personal. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I just want to talk about a process right now and not about myself. Wish me luck.