Business Notes to Self, 101

Hi, it's me, in a state of confusion about technology. Weird.

I took the U. S. Small Business Administration self-assessment for people interested in starting a business today, and somehow the assessment figured out that I'm not ready to start a business. Maybe it was my answer to the first question, "Are you ready now to start your business?", to which I answered No. I really have little to no idea what I'm doing, aside from how to compose a good picture. That, combined with my introversion and lack of organization skills, hubris and competitive spirit, pretty much sealed up the coffin.

In addition to the gentle message that starting a business isn't for everyone, the results included a starting place for those who aren't ready to give up, which was to take a free, online course called "Small Business Primer: Strategies for success". I found the course (which oddly is aimed specifically at American Indians but I decided that, aside from my not qualifying for specific funding, the course would probably apply to anyone) and decided to give it a go. (Ok, maybe I am more ready to start down this path than I give myself credit for.)

About three slides in (and after realizing that the course is more informative with the audio unmuted), I realized that I need to take notes because some of the information was both pretty good and new to me. But where do I take these notes? I think I have OneNote on my smartphone, and I think that's the app for taking notes, but my phone is small and I can't type 60WPM on my phone, so I looked up the computer version. Hmmm. It's Microsoft software and it's $80. Next idea please. This brings me around to explaining the first line of this essay: Hi, it's me, in a state of confusion about technology.

People have been taking notes since before there was paper, never mind computers, so why is this a technology issue? I could just use a notebook. It's because of my (lack of) organizational skills. I would certainly lose a notebook, or at the very least, not have it with me when I need it. If it was small enough I could keep it in my camera bag, but events over the last several months have led me to not even having my camera with me at all times. Plus, given the choice between my camera (fun, easy and creative) and a notebook (focus on the more difficult aspect of the photography business), I would probably choose the camera.

So what are my requirements for this technology application?
1. Un-losable.
2. Accessible from anywhere (internet).
3. Easy to create non-linear notes.
4. Free.
5. I can't decide whether I want it public or private. I guess it doesn't matter.

I could use Blogger, but it's not non-linear. Ditto Google Docs. I'm out of ideas. But rather than wait for the epiphany (and in the spirit of entrepreneurship) I will do two pro-active things: I will post to Facebook to ask for ideas, and I will just make a Google Docs file to use for now. Once those things are done, I may just reward myself with a little camera time.

What Does it Mean to See?

As a photographer, one looks, frames, considers... I've been thinking about how much time and money I want to invest in photography. Do I want it to pay me back? Do I want to build up my equipment in hopes of selling more pictures? What do I do with the thousands of pictures I already have? Why haven't I printed more pictures and why aren't they hanging up in my house? Can I make a living doing this some day? What do I tell my students who want to become photographers?

Then I am confronted with a beautiful photograph, most unexpectedly. In a setting where I am not expecting to even be looking at photographs. Almost excused away by a brush-off comment, though maybe as a way to protect the self. And as part of a collection of photographs, just "pictures I took of myself... I wanted to try it. They are nudes, but nothing is showing..."

Flesh, metal and glass. The photographer hiding from view in this one, shielded by the camera which does the seeing for her. Legs - tripod, human - intertwined. Fingers curled around the camera, almost clawing, caught in the act of arresting the moment for those not present. And everything dependent on a mirror which sees but cannot be seen.

What to make of it? I want to buy it, but do I need to? I can still see it. And it wasn't offered for sale, only as evidence of a private, courageous moment. So true, for the photographer. For me, the viewer, a hopeful student of the art, something different altogether. In this photograph I read the Photographer's struggle to display, to hide, to check, to capture, to reveal, to pose, to reflect, to measure, to learn, to grow... And now, a few days later, what am I left with? Inspiration? A new benchmark? Alas, more questions. But I know for sure that this was an amazing photograph.