Drowning!

Yes, I'm doing it again. I often do this - I get excited about something, give myself too many choices, make things too complicated, try to start in the middle instead of the beginning, then quit.

Well, I haven't quit yet. And I'm glad. I really want to make this work.

Ok, so what have I done so far? Let's start with what I wanted to do.

"1. Print some photos. (I could break this step down into about 10. Let's just say for now that I will probably use my Zenfolio account to print them so they are professionally done and won't fade like the ones I print myself. Also, before I even print them I'd want to take some specifically for selling on my parents' hay farm. I have some like this already, but a few more probably wouldn't hurt.)
2. Find (online) materials I can use to matte and package them.
3. Make business cards. I wonder if Zenfolio has a link for that.
4. Figure out how to price my pics. I don't want to start too low."

I skipped #1. It's too complicated right now.

For #2 I found www.clearbags.com. I spent a day hemming and hawing about what to order. I was set on a basic mounting kit for 8x10s (with matte boards, backer boards, hinge tape and mounting corners), when I got to the checkout and discovered that there was a minimum order (if I didn't want to pay a service fee), and that my shipping was going to cost over $15! I did a quick search of Michael's and Staples to see if they had the kind of art bags I needed and didn't see them. Then, as usual, I changed my mind and instead of going with mattes, I scaled down the packaging and got bags that just fit the photos, without mattes. I nixed the hinge tape and mounting corners, but got bags and backs for three sizes of photos instead of just 8x10s. Then I ordered them! Then they came in the mail!! Then it took me 10 minutes to open the box (granted, I was using scissors instead of a box knife to cut the tape) and I wondered if the whole idea was crazy. Once I got the box (it was actually two taped together, which had been part of the problem) open, it was like Christmas! All these art supplies. Time to get moving.

#3 My business cards are printing as I type. And I'm proud of them. They almost got the best of me, but I didn't let them. Earlier today, as I sat down to get #3 done, I started flooding myself. Business cards... I had already bought the paper, now I needed a template. Should be easy, I've done it before. Wasn't. Now the flooding: Publisher has a place for a logo. I don't have a logo. Maybe my son can design one. How much should I pay him? What if I don't like it? What about my daughter, who is planning on going to college (next year!) to study art therapy? Should she make the logo? What about the font? It should say something about me. What should it say? I thought I wanted it to be formal but I'd go to work (at my day job as a teacher) in jeans and bare feet if they'd let me. Surely if my business card was formal and a client met me in person they would think I was a fraud. I tried out some fonts. I built, in my head, an advisory board of everyone I know whose opinion I would value about my personality and art. I set up tiers of assistance so that my boss, whose daughter went to art school, didn't have to come to all the meetings... I think I'll call the weather service and ask them to give a name to this flood that I made all over my computer station. (Deep breath here. Breathe.)

#4 I tossed around some ideas about how to price my photos. I was thinking $10 for a 4x6, $15 for a 5x7 and $20 for an 8x10. Nice and simple. Then I considered that I might give a free 4x6 of the same print to everyone who buys an 8x10. What would they do with a duplicate photo? Give it away, of course! Along with my business card, which will be packaged inside.

To be honest, I did do some work with the actual photos today. I uploaded more to Zenfolio. But I think I did too many. I am going to take some down, because they are not all fantastic pics. If I'm not going to print them to sell, they shouldn't be up. I also uploaded some to Snapfish. Prints on Snapfish are much cheaper, and since it's been a while since I've logged on they were trying to entice me with 50 free 4x6 prints. I couldn't figure out how to redeem my 50 prints and it annoyed me until I figured out they were only going to cost me $4.50. But again, I didn't order any because I want to limit the prints I'm offering at first and I'm not sure which ones I like best yet.

Oh! And two people besides my mother have checked out the Zenfolio site! They both signed on within two days of when I put it up. No one has looked at the site since, though. But two people!

So I have 30 business cards and enough materials to package 100 4x6s, 100 5x7s and 75 8x10s. Now I just need pictures!

Baby Steps

Today I'm pondering a photography business. I showed my mom a couple photobooks I had printed by an online company and she liked them. In fact, she's going to order three copies - one for herself, one for my aunt and one for my grandfather.

We talked about selling my photographs at her farm this fall when she sells the 2000 pumpkins they have growing there. It's already a hay farm so they have customers coming and going already, which is good.

There are lots of things I need to do if I want to do this, which I do. Let's list them, shall we?

1. Print some photos. (I could break this step down into about 10. Let's just say for now that I will probably use my Zenfolio account to print them so they are professionally done and won't fade like the ones I print myself. Also, before I even print them I'd want to take some specifically for selling on my parents' hay farm. I have some like this already, but a few more probably wouldn't hurt.)
2. Find (online) materials I can use to matte and package them.
3. Make business cards. I wonder if Zenfolio has a link for that.
4. Figure out how to price my pics. I don't want to start too low.

Ok, I'll probably also want to set up a Zen album with the hay pics on it so people can have a look and order them later. Or do I? My Zen account won't let me set prices, so they'd basically be paying just for the prints. Maybe I don't want to do that. Or maybe I will upgrade my account so I can boost prices.

Am I getting ahead of myself? Maybe. But maybe not. When am I going to start if I don't start now?

Could I print some photos and offer my parents' hay customers a chance to win a farm "sitting", where I would go to their farm for a few hours and take pics? They could choose to buy or not buy copies of the photos. Maybe I take pics and put them on Zen for the client, keep permissions for them, and sell them to others for retail. How in the heck would that work? Something else to think about. I need a sample contract book for photographers!

So first, pick some of my best farm photos and find packaging materials for them. Make a business card. Worry later about sales prices, when I have them ready.

Finally, I want to find a way to make my pics stand out. Anyone can take a picture of a flower or a wave. Why should someone buy mine?

But I have the best intentions...

Determination, dedication and hard work. Yes, of course. All three will surely lead to success. Someone recently hinted that I have none of these, or at least not enough to make it as a photographer or writer. Or maybe she was trying to encourage me. I guess I don't know.

Yes, you have to put in hard time to make it in any creative field. But if you don't, does that mean you're not determined, dedicated and working hard? Well, I guess if you don't do the work you're not working hard. But what about the other two? I'm determined to make it someday. The problem is, I can't predict when my death will be. Today, being in relatively good health, I certainly have all the time in the world so tomorrow works just as well.

And am I dedicated? The problem is, I'm dedicated to fear. Or, fear has  bound me in "What ifs". What if I write the wrong thing and lose a follower? What if no one buys my line? Or the dreaded, what if I can't do it?

I have perfectly-thought-out responses to the first two questions - responses that I would use with my students or friends. "So what if one follower doesn't like something, you will probably gain two more." "If no one is buying your chairs (see the movie Phenomenon) then at least you have enjoyed putting them together." I know both of those things are true. But for the last question, of course, there is no answer. First of all, "do" what? Become famous? Become rich? What do those words even mean? Write every day? Take a photograph every day? Upload writing or a photo every day? Hook 20 followers? 200? If I don't even know what I'm trying to do, how do I know I haven't done it?

Maybe I should make a ladder of goals for myself so I can see exactly what it is that I am trying to do. I will also add a short description of why I want to do it or what it means to me to each rung. Maybe that will help. And I can post it here, so not only will I be able to visualize what I'm doing (always a good strategy for me), but I will also have some writing to post!

As for the title of this post, it was nearly a year ago that I set up this Blog to catch my random, ADD-inspired writing. Yes, I had good intentions. But today is a new day and I have the phone number of my one  followers, so if she has forgotten about my blog I can just call her and tell her I'm starting again and I know she will read it (thanks, Mom).

One final note: we never understand our path until we've arrived. Maybe I've been doing exactly what I'm supposed to have been doing all along. I thought my teen age daughter sabotaged her employment search when she added a wrinkle to her visual presentation - she got a Mohawk. Then, fifty three weeks after she started looking and one week after the haircut, she got a job. Who knows - maybe the confidence she exuded by boasting a haircut she loved is what got her noticed. Maybe my melancholy angst and procrastination will help my journey somehow... or maybe I should just renew my ADD meds and get to work.