Determination, dedication and hard work. Yes, of course. All three will surely lead to success. Someone recently hinted that I have none of these, or at least not enough to make it as a photographer or writer. Or maybe she was trying to encourage me. I guess I don't know.
Yes, you have to put in hard time to make it in any creative field. But if you don't, does that mean you're not determined, dedicated and working hard? Well, I guess if you don't do the work you're not working hard. But what about the other two? I'm determined to make it someday. The problem is, I can't predict when my death will be. Today, being in relatively good health, I certainly have all the time in the world so tomorrow works just as well.
And am I dedicated? The problem is, I'm dedicated to fear. Or, fear has bound me in "What ifs". What if I write the wrong thing and lose a follower? What if no one buys my line? Or the dreaded, what if I can't do it?
I have perfectly-thought-out responses to the first two questions - responses that I would use with my students or friends. "So what if one follower doesn't like something, you will probably gain two more." "If no one is buying your chairs (see the movie Phenomenon) then at least you have enjoyed putting them together." I know both of those things are true. But for the last question, of course, there is no answer. First of all, "do" what? Become famous? Become rich? What do those words even mean? Write every day? Take a photograph every day? Upload writing or a photo every day? Hook 20 followers? 200? If I don't even know what I'm trying to do, how do I know I haven't done it?
Maybe I should make a ladder of goals for myself so I can see exactly what it is that I am trying to do. I will also add a short description of why I want to do it or what it means to me to each rung. Maybe that will help. And I can post it here, so not only will I be able to visualize what I'm doing (always a good strategy for me), but I will also have some writing to post!
As for the title of this post, it was nearly a year ago that I set up this Blog to catch my random, ADD-inspired writing. Yes, I had good intentions. But today is a new day and I have the phone number of my one followers, so if she has forgotten about my blog I can just call her and tell her I'm starting again and I know she will read it (thanks, Mom).
One final note: we never understand our path until we've arrived. Maybe I've been doing exactly what I'm supposed to have been doing all along. I thought my teen age daughter sabotaged her employment search when she added a wrinkle to her visual presentation - she got a Mohawk. Then, fifty three weeks after she started looking and one week after the haircut, she got a job. Who knows - maybe the confidence she exuded by boasting a haircut she loved is what got her noticed. Maybe my melancholy angst and procrastination will help my journey somehow... or maybe I should just renew my ADD meds and get to work.
It was a great mohawk, and just growing back to normal when I got my real job which I hold to this day. Taking chances leads you all kinds of places oma
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